From Surviving to Thriving During the Holiday Season
63% of people find holidays more stressful than tax season. If you're white-knuckling through December, you're not broken—the season is legitimately hard. Here's how to shift from surviving to thriving, with practical tools for managing triggers and protecting your peace.
Let me guess: Someone just told you to "embrace the season" or "focus on gratitude." And you're thinking—how? How do I enjoy holidays when Uncle Jerry will definitely comment on my life choices, when every gathering centers around drinking, and when social media shows everyone else having the picture-perfect season I'm supposed to want?
Here's something you should know: 63% of people find the holidays more stressful than tax season. If you're white-knuckling through December, you're not broken. The season is legitimately hard.
But why should the goal be to "get through" the holidays? Why not create experiences that actually support who you're becoming.
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
There's a difference between surviving the holidays and thriving through them.
Surviving looks like: saying yes to every obligation, ignoring your needs to please others, and feeling like a victim of circumstances.
Thriving looks like: making intentional choices, setting healthy boundaries, and taking ownership of your experience.
The shift isn't about being selfish. It's about being honest. You're not just trying to stay sober—you're building a life worth living. That requires protecting what matters most.
Know Your Triggers (And Actually Prepare for Them)
Awareness is the first step toward protection. Your holiday triggers likely fall into three categories:
Social pressures mean navigating increased exposure to substances, family dynamics you left behind for a reason, and questions about choices you don't owe anyone an explanation for.
Environmental disruptions include less sunlight (vitamin D deficiency affects mood), changes to your normal routines, and the loss of your support structures when you need them most.
Emotional and financial strain shows up as unrealistic gift-giving expectations, grief over lost relationships, and comparison to idealized versions of holidays that don't exist in real life.
The question isn't whether you'll face triggers. It's whether you'll have a plan when you do.
Build Your Boundary Toolkit
Boundaries aren't walls—they're bridges to healthier relationships. Here's what that looks like in practice:
Set time boundaries by scheduling uplifting activities first, building in downtime, and giving yourself permission to say no to some invitations.
Establish physical boundaries by limiting time at events, having an exit strategy before you arrive, and choosing where you stay.
Protect yourself with emotional boundaries by deciding in advance which topics you won't discuss and declining to explain your choices to people who won't understand them.
Create substance boundaries by bringing your own beverages, avoiding triggering environments entirely, and having prepared responses ready. ("I'm good with water, thanks" is perfect. We don’t owe anyone any explanation.)
Create Traditions That Actually Support You
You have permission to do holidays differently.
Your meaningful holiday might include Friendsgiving with your recovery community, volunteering at a food bank, or taking nature walks instead of attending parties. It might mean sending meaningful texts to loved ones, creating vision boards for the year ahead, or honoring lost relationships in ways that feel genuine to you.
You're not abandoning traditions. You're creating ones that don't require you to abandon yourself.
What Success Really Looks Like
This holiday season, your success isn't measured by how many parties you attend or how "normal" you look.
Success is staying true to your recovery. Success is protecting your peace. Success is waking up January 1st proud of the choices you made—even if those choices looked nothing like what everyone else expected.
Because here's the truth: sobriety gave you your life back. Now you get to decide what to do with it—including how you spend your holidays.
Download our Holiday Wellness Plan. It will give you something tangible to look at and refer back to when you need to remind yourself that you plan to thrive this holiday season.
References:
American Psychological Association. (2006). Holiday stress. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2006/12/holiday-stress
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2016). Creating a healthier lifestyle: A step-by-step guide to wellness. https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/sma16-4958.pdf