The Dopamine Deficit. Why Feeling Better Keeps Making You Feel Worse

Part 2 of the Emotional Regulation Series

Quick Recap from Part 1: We talked about how your brain uses maladaptive behaviors—everything from substances to shopping to scrolling—to regulate emotions. The cycle looks like this: negative emotion → craving for relief → behavior → temporary relief → reinforcement. Every time you use that behavior to feel better, you're strengthening the neural pathway that says "this is how we handle difficult feelings." The problem? It's temporary, it doesn't solve anything, it creates new problems, and it replaces real coping skills.

We covered the full roster of maladaptive behaviors, from substance use to avoidance behaviors to control behaviors to relationship patterns. And we established that whether it's the bottle, the credit card, the refrigerator, or the phone, the mechanism is the same.

But here's what we didn't answer: Why is it so hard to stop?

Yeah, it’s not just psychology. It’s neuroscience. And understanding what's actually happening in your brain might be the key to finally breaking the cycle, or at least helping us to feel more powerful.

Your Brain's Pleasure-Pain Seesaw

Here's the thing about pleasure and pain: they're processed in the exact same part of your brain. Not nearby. Not similar. The same neurons that light up when you feel good are the same ones that register when you feel bad.

Think of it like a seesaw on a playground. When the seesaw is level, that's your brain at rest—what neuroscientists call homeostasis. When you do something pleasurable, the seesaw tips to the pleasure side. When something painful happens, it tips the other way.

Simple enough, right?

Your brain has one job when it comes to this seesaw: keep it level. At all costs.

The Imps on the Pain Side

The moment you tip that seesaw toward pleasure—whether it's a drink, a shopping spree, a binge, a scroll through TikTok—your brain immediately goes to work trying to restore balance. And it doesn't just gently nudge things back to center.

It overshoots.

I like to think of these as little neuroadaptation ‘imps’ hopping on the pain side of the balance. The more pleasure you experience, the more imps pile on to compensate. This is your comedown. Your hangover. Your after-effect. The crash that follows the high.

And here's the kicker: this often happens while you're still experiencing the pleasure. You might not even notice it consciously, but your brain is already setting you up for the fall.

Why We're Built This Way

You might be wondering: why would our brains do this to us? Why can't we just enjoy something without paying a price?

The answer lies in evolution. For millions of years, humans survived by approaching pleasure and avoiding pain. But resources were scarce. Finding food required walking miles every day. Getting any kind of reward meant doing enormous amounts of work.

So your brain developed this system to keep you motivated. You get a little dopamine hit when you find that berry bush, but immediately after, you drop into a dopamine deficit state—those imps on the pain side—which creates an overwhelming motivation to go find the next berry bush.

This made us the ultimate seekers. Never satisfied. Always looking for more. Always willing to do the work to get the next reward.

And for most of human history? That kept us alive.

The Modern Dopamine Fire Hose

Now transport that ancient brain wiring into the modern world.

A world where you don't have to walk three miles to find a berry bush. You can have a crate of berries—giant, chocolate-covered, artificially flavored berries—delivered to your door in 30 minutes.

A world where your drug of choice, whatever it is, is available 24/7 at the touch of a button.

This is what researchers call the "plenty paradox." We evolved for scarcity but live in abundance. And our brains are woefully, catastrophically unprepared for it.

How the Seesaw Breaks

Let's walk through what happens when you have unlimited access to your substance or behavior of choice.

You're feeling stressed. Your seesaw is already tipped toward pain. You reach for your go-to—let's say it's food, but this works for anything. You eat, and boom, that seesaw tips toward pleasure. Dopamine floods your system. You feel better.

But immediately, the imps jump on the pain side to compensate. And now you're in a dopamine deficit state. You feel worse than before you ate.

What's the fastest way to fix that? Well, you could wait for the imps to hop off. They will, eventually. But there's a whole container of food right there in front of you. So you eat more.

Maybe this time you eat twice as much, because you need more to level that balance. The imps are getting heavier. They're bringing friends.

Pretty soon, you've eaten everything in sight. And you're at war with those neuroadaptation imps, and they're winning.

When Your Baseline Changes

This is where it gets really serious.

If you keep bombarding your reward pathway with highly rewarding substances and behaviors—and "highly rewarding" now means pretty much everything because we've drugified it all—those imps don't just visit. They set up camp.

Tents. Barbecues. Permanent residence on the pain side of your balance.

Your hedonic set point—your joy baseline—has shifted. Now you need more of your substance or behavior, not to get high, but just to feel normal. Just to level that seesaw.

And when you're not using? You're walking around with a pleasure-pain balance permanently tilted toward pain.

Which means you're experiencing the universal symptoms of withdrawal: anxiety, irritability, insomnia, depression, and craving.

Sound familiar?

The Shift from Pleasure to Pain Avoidance

Here's the critical shift that defines the move from "I enjoy this" to "I can't stop doing this":

You start doing the behavior to feel good. You end up doing it to avoid feeling bad.

You're no longer chasing pleasure. You're running from pain. And the pain is partly caused by the very thing you're using to escape it.

This is the hallmark of maladaptive behavior. Not the stereotypical version you see in movies. The real version that affects millions of people who would never think of themselves as having a problem.

Why This Explains Everything

This mechanism explains so much about why recovery is hard:

Why you need more over time. The imps are getting heavier. Your tolerance is increasing. What worked before doesn't work anymore.

Why stopping feels impossible. Those imps are camped out on the pain side. When you stop using, you're in full dopamine deficit mode. You feel terrible. And your brain is screaming that the solution is right there—just do the thing.

Why willpower isn't enough. This isn't about being weak. Your brain chemistry has literally changed. You've rewired your reward system.

Why you feel anxious and depressed. You're walking around in a constant state of withdrawal, even when you're using. Your baseline mood has dropped below normal.

The Collective Crisis

Here's something that should terrify and comfort you in equal measure: this isn't just happening to you.

The rising rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide—which are climbing fastest in the richest nations in the world—are at least partially due to the fact that we're all overloading our brain's reward pathways.

We're not unhappier because we're spoiled or because our values have changed. We're unhappier because we've literally, physiologically changed our brains by constantly bombarding them with high-reward, instantly available substances and behaviors.

We've collectively downregulated our own dopamine production, not just to baseline levels, but below baseline levels.

We're all walking around in a dopamine deficit state.

The Three Factors That Make It Worse

Not all substances and behaviors are equally problematic. Three factors determine how likely something is to hijack your reward pathway:

Potency: How "drugified" is it? Natural foods vs. processed foods. Reading books vs. scrolling TikTok. The more concentrated and refined the dopamine hit, the more dangerous.

Quantity: How much and how often? The more you use, the more you change your brain circuitry.

Availability: How easy is it to access? This is the smartphone problem. We're all carrying a hypodermic syringe for digital dopamine in our pockets, 24/7.

When you combine high potency with unlimited quantity and constant availability, you get a recipe that our ancient brains simply cannot handle.

The Uncomfortable Truth

You can't think your way out of this.

You can't willpower your way out of this.

You can't positive-affirmation your way out of this.

Your brain chemistry has changed. The imps are real. The dopamine deficit is real. The rewired pathways are real.

But here's the good news: neuroplasticity is also real.

What This Means for Recovery

Understanding this mechanism changes everything about how we approach recovery.

It's not about being stronger. It's about giving your brain time to restore its natural dopamine production. The imps need to hop off, and that takes time.

It's not about finding better distractions. It's about letting yourself feel the pain of that dopamine deficit without trying to fix it immediately.

It's not about “cutting back” (at least not at first). You can't negotiate with neurochemistry. If your baseline is broken, you need to reset it completely before you can find sustainable balance.

It's not about moral failure. This is biology. You're not weak. You're not broken. You're experiencing a predictable neurological response to living in a world your brain wasn't designed for.

The Path Forward

Breaking this cycle requires understanding that feeling worse before you feel better isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. It's a sign your brain is recalibrating.

Those imps need time to pack up their tents and leave. Your dopamine system needs time to reset. Your pleasure-pain balance needs to find its natural equilibrium again.

And that means enduring the discomfort of dopamine deficit without reaching for the quick fix.

It means learning to sit with anxiety, irritability, insomnia, and craving—knowing that these are withdrawal symptoms, not permanent states.

It means trusting that your brain can heal itself, given time and the right conditions.

Why Hope Matters

The same brain that got you into this mess can get you out of it.

The same neuroplasticity that allowed those imps to set up camp will allow them to leave.

The same reward system that got hijacked can be restored.

But not by doing more of what got you here. Not by finding a "healthier" addiction to replace the old one. Not by white-knuckling through life in a constant state of deprivation.

By understanding the mechanism. By working with your brain instead of against it. By giving yourself the time and space to reset.

I’ve created a series of worksheets with practical strategies for restoring your dopamine baseline and building a life that doesn't require constant self-medication.

For now, just sit with this: you're not crazy. You're not weak. You're not alone.

You're a human with an ancient brain trying to navigate a modern world. And understanding how that brain works is the first step toward taking back control.

Have you noticed your baseline changing? That you need more to feel normal and feel worse when you stop? Check out our free Dopamine Reset Workbook.

References: Lembke, A. (2021). Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence. Dutton.

Hidden Brain. (2025, December 8). The Paradox of Pleasure [Podcast episode]. NPR.